My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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