oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
