I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
