Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
