You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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