His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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