I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
