The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I need to sanitize my soul.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
