Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
