Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
