i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize