my phone cant type all the emotion im having
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
