Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
