Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
