I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
