too bad you live with your parents still
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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