My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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