But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
