So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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