I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
