I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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