K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
