Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
