i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
