we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she woke up with a sticky ear
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
