oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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