Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
worst night to have a conscience
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
