I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
