guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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