Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
