So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Randomize
