Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
His hands were made for my vagina.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
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