we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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