Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
