I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Randomize
