He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
