Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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