smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
two words: eviction party
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize