YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
