Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
