in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
