Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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