Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
