My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
