Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
