I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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