did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
