Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
