I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
