I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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