Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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