Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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