Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
