her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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