I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
