David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
