So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
