If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize