so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
