I didn't shave. On purpose
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
