I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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