As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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