i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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