That's when you crack a 10am beer
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i believe in u and ur pee
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
