I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
