Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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