i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
