I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
