Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize