Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she smelled like a LAN party
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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