i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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